Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Birth Story

If you're anything like me, you probably love a good birth story. Hearing all my friends and family members birth stories, I knew very well - there are no two births that are the same.  My first birth experience was not what I expected, imagined, or wanted and did not leave me with warmfuzzy thoughts. I never imagined I would say these words or have these feelings about a day that was supposed to be one of the best days of my life. Regardless of how it happened...I will always believe that it still qualified as one of the best days of my life despite the circumstances and because of the incredible outcome... my perfect in every way, baby girl! 
Living in Georgia, 2,500 miles away from home and our parents was definitely not our first choice, but it was our reality. So we planned ahead to make it the best possible experience we could. My parents made sure to book their flights a week after my due date "just in case". Ethan realized he had his final training for his course right over the week of our due date, which meant five days of drills and tactical camping out in the field. He bought a battery pack to charge his phone with so I would be able to get a hold of hm in time to get me to the hospital. As well as phone numbers to a few of the leaders in charge in case I couldn't contact him. His commander was actually really great about allowing him to be there for me at doctors appointments and the delivery when it came time. Our Doctor also scheduled us to be induced on Dec. 6th at 7:00 am if I went over my due date. This was our plan but as you know most births don't go as planned.

So here's what really happened...

Nov. 29th, 2017 - Our long awaited and highly anticipated Due Date. Leading up to this day was filled with long hours of walking, curbing and bouncing on the yoga ball. Both my mom and sister had their kids a week or two early which gave me the expectation that I would be like them. If you had been following my weekly blog posts leading up to the delivery you'll know that I had my membranes stripped every week starting at week 38, in hopes that it would start my labor like it had for my sister. Sadly, no such luck for me. We did experience a false alarm like most first time parents that landed us in the hospital on the night of the due date because of some bleeding and contractions. Even though it was a false alarm, it got Ethan out of the last two days of his field training to be with me. Ultimately, our due date came and passed with no sign of our baby girl. 

Dec. 5th 2017 - 5:00pm - The day my parents flew into town. I remember thinking how excited I was that even though it was hard to go over my due date, it also meant that my mom would now get to be here for the delivery. I honestly believe baby girl was just waiting on her to arrive because she knew how much I would need her there. In fact, on the way to the airport to pick them up I was also timing my contractions which were increasing to about 5-10 Min's apart. I was literally standing in the airport watching for my parents in between my increasingly painful contractions. 
When my parents arrived they were so excited to know that they would get to be here for the birth but also just to get to see me in my last few days of pregnancy and to be able to rub my cute big baby bump before it was gone. We talked with my parents how strong and consistent my contractions were getting and decided it was time to head into the hospital!  Having discussed ahead of time that we wanted to do this first part together, just the two of us, we dropped my parents off back at our place on base and left them with our second car to meet up with us later. Ethan and I were so excited the whole way to the hospital and he even remembered to stop and get me some food and ice cream on the way since I wouldn't be able to eat anything after we had been admitted. Good job honey! 

We arrived at the hospital in Augusta, Georgia at 6pm and because it was after hours we had to go through the emergency room. We were preregistered so figured it wouldn't take too long. However, they had us start filling out more paperwork which led me to believe it was going to take a while. That is until a sweet nurse watching me cringe through some contractions told them to skip the paperwork and get me up to L&D.  

I was given a gown  and room 219  where the nurse checked me determining  I was dilated to a 3 and her head was already very low. They monitored me for a couple of hours before they decided I was ready to be officially admitted around 8pm. We then called up my parents and told them they could head over whenever they were ready. And that's when the waiting game really started. I imagined they would just go ahead and induce me at some point in the night considering I was originally scheduled to be induced the next morning anyways. However, they informed me that wouldn't be an option for me considering I was making SOME progress on my own. Even though it was hardly anything, I was literally making just enough to warrant me in-eligible to be induced. 
It was a long night of slow progression.  As my parents and Ethan tried to sleep around me in our room sprawled out on the couch and rocking chair, I tried to relax and breath through my contractions hoping for something, anything, to change. In the early hours of the morning around 3:45 my water started leaking. At 6:30am they came in and officially broke my water. Then at 8am they came in to give me the epidural. I sat on the edge of the bed pretty nervous with Ethan standing in front of me so I could hold onto him. Surprisingly, I barely even felt it! The worst part leading up to the birth was that dang catheter.

My doctor , Dr. Seehusen, stopped in to check on me around 9am and because the baby still wasn't dropping low enough he asked that I do some practice pushing with my nurse Sherry. Honestly Sherry was my lifesaver during the birth. My birth story would without a doubt be WAY different and WAY less positive without her Anyways, I'm not really sure why he called it "practice" pushing because two hours later we were still at it and I was exhausted. At 11 am they called for my doctor who was actually on his way to a mandatory meeting but before he left he requested no more access to my epidural button so I could feel the urge to push. Believe me, I could already feel the urge!! Anyways, since he couldn't be there the on call doctor from the Military base came in because they felt like it was time. The room was full of nurses and students watching. I remember the first hour after the doctor arrived was just more straight pushing. At noon the doctor gave the go ahead to turn the room over to be ready to deliver and all of the nursers started calling out their guesses on the delivery time. Most ranging within the next 10 Min's to a half hour which gave me a lot of hope because at this point I had been literally pushing for three constant hours. I was a little bugged with my doctor who was actually training a new girl and he never once looked at me or spoke directly to me. My nurse Sherry was basically calling all the shots and getting frustrated herself  after three hours of helping me push with no baby to show for it.

Things got a little scary the last half hour. The details I'm about to share are actually ones I heard myself from Ethan and my mom because at this point I was pretty out of it.I guess a student nurse  left the room crying. Apparently she was scared and couldn't watch anymore.Sherry had me pushing so many different ways during the first three hours. First by holding the handles on the bed, second, pulling my legs towards me that the nurse and Ethan were holding up and lastly the most creative. Sherry tied both ends of a bed sheet in knots and stood down at the end of the bed from me and then we basically just played tug-of-war for about a half hour. At one point Sherry even had to push sideways on my stomach because the baby wasn't coming down straight.

I remember feeling so exhausted and like I literally couldn't push for a second more. By this point my epidural had worn off almost completely so aside from the exhaustion from all the breathing and pushing, i was starting to feel the physical affects. I would look up at Ethan and see the fear in his face as he looked at me and then to my mom. She said later that she felt so bad for him because he would look at me and feel helpless then look at my mom hoping she could somehow do something or give him advice. Aside from the fear in his eyes I could also feel and hear his reassurance that kept me going. My mom was amazing to have there as well and I couldn't have gotten through the last half hour without their encouragement. The most frustrating part towards the end was hearing all the nurses telling me things like " one more push, she's coming, we can see her head, she's almost here." Only for the time to continue to pass with no baby. By this point the doctor decided I was going to need an episiotomy which he didn't like to do so therefore hadn't done a lot of. Because the epidural had worn off he had to give me a localized shot to numb the area before he cut me basically from front to back. Sorry TMI? Actually, not sorry, you are reading a birth story after all ;)

The doctor determined that baby girls head was facing down but was also turned at an odd angle which was making it hard for her head to come out. At this point we were out of options and I was completely exhausted and wearing an oxygen mask because I was literally passing out after every third push. My doctor ultimately decided a vacuum attempt was necessary. Unfortunately, the first vacuum they tried wasn't strong enough so they had to use a different one leaving two marks on her poor little head and a scab that she has yet to get rid of even a month later. Finally after 4 long hours of straight pushing,  a complete episiotomy and two vacuum attempts later, our beautiful baby girl was born!

GRACE MAE JANSON
6'12 20 inches
Dec 6th, 2017 @ 1:08pm
When she was born, I remember it feeling as if an octopus was coming out of me. All these body parts, her head, legs and arms all slimy.  She even had the cord wrapped around her neck, but only once and it wasn't too tight. I felt immediate relief and excitement. They quickly wiped her off and laid her on my chest. I looked up at Ethan who was crying and realized I had no energy or even liquid left in me to cry no matter how badly I wanted too. The first thing I said when I looked down at her was, "Oh my goodness, Grace, I love you so much!" And right after I said that she reached up and rested her little hand on my chin and I was in heaven! Then Ethan started talking to her and she quickly shot her head around to find his face and just stared so intently at him. It was the single sweetest moment of my life. I completely believe she already knew us and was so happy to put a face with the voices that had been talking to her for the past nine months. I was given about an hour of skin to skin which was the most rewarding thing I could have done after a long and hard 4 hours. Our first attempt at  breastfeeding went really well too and she just latched on like a natural. And while they stitched me up (Twice) Ethan had a chance to do skin-to -skin which just melted my new momma heart to witness.
The following couple of days was a blurr. She had swallowed some meconium at birth so they did have to pump her little stomach once. We were in the hospital from Tuesday night until Friday afternoon which meant we missed being able to attend Ethan's Graduation on base. Luckily my dad and his brother that had flown into town were able to attend and to Facebook live the whole thing so my mom and I watched him walk from our hospital room. I was so proud of him, for graduating and making it through his course all while putting up with a pregnant wife and a delivery right during the middle of it. In fact, just a few hours after they released us from the hospital, Ethan took my parents and I back to our hotel to wait for our flight on Monday, while he took off across country to drive all our belongings and our car home. That was so hard for him to leave his brand new baby and I but he knew we would do much better on a four hour flight than a 32 hour car ride. He was absolutely right too, Grace never cried even once on the plane and she fed on take off and landing so her ears wouldn't pop.
(Lieutenant Ethan Janson after his Graduation)
(on our flight home)

Grace did have to spend 16 hours over night in the blue lights because her bilirubin count was so high at a 17. That was probably one of the longest nights of my life. The nurses had to poke her heal to test her blood every couple of hours and almost every time they didn't get enough blood and would have to do it all over again. That's when my first encounter with "momma bear" happened. I was not happy with these young nurses who didn't seem to know what they were doing. She did really well and hardly cried at all, but I just couldn't lay in the hospital bed next to her and fall asleep because she had little goosebumps on her legs in the lights. Regardless of how sore and tired I was, I sat on the edge of the bed next to her and covered her tiny legs with my arm while I watched every single hour of the night pass by. I learned it was true already, mother's will do anything for their babies.
My amazing nurse Sherry. She was amazing and we jokingly offered to fly her out to Utah for my next birth. Partially jokingly because I really couldn't have gotten through it without her and believe it probably would have ended in a C-section had she not been there. She even came in the next day just to appologize for how everything went and for the doctor. She said it never should have gone like that!
Heading home from the hospital!
Looking back even though our birth story was nothing like we expected, it was everything that we wanted it to be. We wanted to have an incredibly healthy and beautiful baby girl..and that's exactly what we got!

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Our life in Georgia...

As most of you are aware, we have been living in Georgia for the past 4 months while Ethan completed his Officer Course in the Signal Corps school. While it may have seemed like an abrupt move, it was actually in the works for the past year. However, as most military spouses are aware, we didn't get our exact moving dates until a month in advance. I'll be honest in saying that these past 16 weeks have been the most challenging + rewarding weeks of our life together so far! Buying our first home, expecting/delivering our first baby and surviving our first Military move together were just some of the obstacles we've had to face during these past 16 weeks.

On August 10th we packed up our car and drove 2,056 miles to live on the Army base at Fort Gordon, Ga. We left our families, our jobs (Temporarily), got a renter for our new home and started this first real adventure just the two and a half of us. First of all, it wasn't all bad. In fact, I really will look back and miss our time here in Georgia. We've grown closer as a couple, explored more towns than ever, and welcomed the biggest (little) blessing into our family, our little Georgia Peach, Gracie Mae! 


 One of the fun things about living in the South has been all the traveling/exploring we have been able to do. From Savannah, the oldest city in Georgia to the colonial streets of Charleston. From wet swamps to the open ocean, alligators to antebellum mansions. The Southern states are home to great travel destinations rich in history, cuisine, culture, music and so much more. And even better than all that, is the people of the South. Never have I met nicer, more welcoming people and I'm from Utah!! Speaking of being from Utah, I was born and raised in the red rock desert of Southern Utah which means moving to the thick green south has been a real change. One that I'll never forget.


Daily Life:

I am often asked about our schedules during our stay here in Georgia. Ethan's was fairly similar each day. 

5:45am PT (Physical Training)

7:30 Shower, eat breakfast and get ready for class
8:30 Morning Classes
11:30am Lunch at home with the wife (plus a nap)
1:45pm  Afternoon Class
3 - 4pm Home for the day

Coming to this training as a Luitenant has been a real blessing because they get treated so well. Not to mention he's home with me for breakfast, lunch, afternoon naps (because the pregnant lady needs them) and home by 4 most days for dinner. I have been so lucky to be able to spend so much time with him here.


My schedule, on the other hand, took some time to create I guess you could say. I came more for moral support meaning I had nothing I was obligated to do each day. At first, that might sound pretty enjoyable and relaxing, to just hang out for 4 months, especially the last 4 of your pregnancy. But for me, I was dreading the lackadaisical lifestyle. I have always been the type that craves a schedule to keep me feeling productive and help the time pass. 


Luckily, I was able to have free access and attend classes at any of the gyms on base. I usually did Zumba 3 days a week and your basic lifting and cardio the other 2 days. It was the perfect way to get me going each day both physically & mentally and stay in shape with my ever-changing prego-bod. I am positive I am now addicted to gym life and already can't wait to be able to start working out again post-baby.  


One of the harder things to leave behind was my job at St.George Dental Care. However, because they are so awesome and I wasn't ready to be done working for them, we worked out an arrangement for me to work remotely from GA helping with insurance claims, breakdowns and their overall social media accounts. It has been amazing to be able to devote so many hours to work each day and helping them with their business all while helping me to pass the time each day. I love this company and love that I can still be apart of their team from home while being a SAHM. 

Along with the gym and working, I was able to stay busy with your typical stay at home wife responsibilities such as laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking. Can't forget, the baby prepping and doctors visits. And occasionally trying to stay caught up on my blog. I'll admit though, I wasn't the best at the cooking one. Cooking can be pretty dang hard to be creative and motivated when you live in a hotel room. That's right, we lived in a hotel!


Housing:

To be fair, I knew before agreeing to come with Ethan, that we would be living in a hotel or studio apartment of some sort. We just never really knew the details until we arrived. I pictured some sort of mini kitchen, a living area and maybe a bedroom. This was not the case. That first day we pulled onto the base and got all checked in to be given a hotel key card and a room number, #206 @ Stinson Hall. I literally fought back tears as we walked into our single 600sqft room that held the living room, bedroom, bathroom, closet and kitchen all in one. Literally, the bathroom sink was also known as the kitchen sink. The kitchen consisted of a 2' X 4'countertop, a microwave and mini-fridge. After the initial disappointment and shock of understanding that we would be living here for the next 16 weeks wore off, I did my best to make it feel like home. I went out and bought baskets, containers, and plastic storage drawers for the kitchen and bathroom. A skillet, mini crock pot, rice cooker, and toaster for the kitchen. I bought real utensils and a set of 4 real plates, bowls, and mugs. In my opinion paper plates and utensils would have saved us a lot of clean up time but I just had to have something that gave the illusion that we were home for meals. And surprisingly, this all worked. We had free breakfast each day and a maid who took out our trash changed our bedding, vacuumed and brought new towels daily. I sure will miss having her around when we get home ;) Dare I say, we even came to enjoy our stay in a small hotel room for 4 months. It kept us close both figuratively and literally. In fact, we found out that had we been stationed there just 4 weeks longer they would have issued us a house. However, we realized had they given us a real apartment/house I would have felt the need to somewhat furnish and decorate and spent unnecessary amounts of money. And that by staying at the hotel they provided for free instead, we were able to pocket our housing allowance Ethan was given each month. Thanks to being able to have a renter back home for the majority of our time in Ga, we were financially blessed by living in a hotel. And now after living in a hotel for the last 4 months, we will really appreciate our new house we bought before coming out here that much more!

I'm grateful I came with Ethan, not just because I could and didn't want to miss him at home, but because of the support and companionship I know I was able to give him daily here. Watching some of the other men here struggle for 4 months being away from their spouses and families was, for some, brutal. I tried every day, especially the stressful ones, to be a supportive wife and discuss his day with him. I tried to come up with fun places to go, things to do and yummy food to eat. Mostly I was just grateful I was here to be able to hold his hand, go on walks and cuddle with him daily! With all the traveling we were able to do, it has felt like somewhat of an extended babymoon for us. Can't complain about that. 


I did have a lot of family and friends question our decision to have me come with Ethan, especially with the timing of our baby landing right during the last two weeks of his training here. To that, we just explained our decision that we came to by prayer. That this is where we were supposed to be and that we would be blessed and get through this together, as husband and wife. Yes, we were aware of how hard it would be, especially this being my first time away from home and during my first pregnancy and delivery. But I knew without a doubt, that I was supposed to be here, sharing this experience with my husband. Starting our family, with my husband. It was worth it for him to be able to experience the whole 9 months of pregnancy, doctors appointments and all the milestones & growth that our daughter made, especially her arrival in this life. And now that it's all said and done, I wouldn't have done it any other way.

Things I've learned while here at Fort Gordon:


"So far your track record for getting through really hard days is 100%." - Al Fox
  • You can be happy in any situation, you just have to put in the effort. For me, that came through prayer, the love of my husband, support & love from family and friends back home and MANY skype calls.
  • Sunday music, LDS talks, the scriptures and uplifting podcasts can start you off on very productive days. Working from home, aka my hotel room, each day was hard enough to stay focused but with a nice podcast in the background, I was able to work work work. 
  • My love and appreciation for military families has really grown. The wives and children need our prayers and good thoughts just as much as their servicemen.
  • Seeing the bigger picture of life always helps. Like the fact that after this course is complete, we aren't being shipped off to our next base for the unseen future, we are going home! Ethan is enlisted with the National Guard, so he's a weekend warrior. One weekend a month he'll go to guard in Spanish Fork, other than that he's like any other person with a real civilian job.  Unless otherwise informed. 
  • You don't always have to share your testimony word for word, you can do it by example and the way you live your life. Being one of very few LDS members here on base and the only one in his class, my heart was happy to watch Ethan be that light to his friends, one of whom really needed it. This group of 5 or so that always hung out, just gravitated towards him. 
  • One of the biggest things that we both learned while living 2,054 miles away from home was that there truly is "no place like home." Sure, all the traveling and exploring we got to do was incredible. The new people and lifestyles we met were eye-opening. But none of it is better than being close to your family to share it with. I can say this without a doubt that we have been blessed to come from two of the best families in the entire world. With supportive siblings who actually enjoy spending time together and parents who really taught us what eternal marriages looked like. We are incredibly blessed to live within 15 miles of both of them and after this experience, I don't think we will ever take that for granted. They were all so supportive and helpful during our time away from home. Even though it was just a "short" 4 months we always heard from them weekly. From phone calls, penpals in the mail and weekly Skype sessions, they really helped this time fly by.  

Moving across the country has been the most challenging & rewarding thing we've done together so far. And now we are ready to come home, as a family of three, to see what's next!! Southern Utah we're coming for you!!

Saturday, December 2, 2017

40 W E E K S + 3 days

 40 Weeks

& 3 days

40 weeks of knowing, growing and loving you. Happy due date sweet baby girl! 

You have so many people excited to meet you, but I think most of all, your daddy and I can hardly contain ourselves. You have invaded almost every thought and conversation as we await your arrival and dream of who you might be! 

I'm officially  3 days over my due date!!! I did not see that coming. With my mom and older sister both going at least a week early and sooner I've kind of been counting on that. So now I really don't have a clue what is going to happen. Most likely I will need to be induced next week. Only time will tell. 

Baby is the size of:
  Baby girl is still about the size of a pumpkin but being almost a week overdue she could be any size. Who knows but I'm dying to find out! PLEASE just don't be over 8lbs, I'm not prepared for that!
 Updates:
  •  At last weeks appointment, I had my membranes stripped with just a bit of cramping and then nothing. So this week when I had to meet with another doctor I had her give it a shot. The next day I started bleeding a bit and feeling a lot of lower pressure. I called my doctor (and mom) who suggested I go be seen in L&D just to be sure everything was Ok. We discovered the I was dilated to a 2, 60% effaced and actually having contractions. That part really shocked me because I'm not feeling them. They told me they were moderate ones and most women would be filling the. I guess so far I'm a lot like my mom who never felt them until the very end. They kept us at the hospital for a few hours but eventually had to let us go because the contractions weren't escalating. 
  • We've been trying everything!! Walking, bouncing on the yoga ball, spicy food, pedicure, massages, even jumping jacks, squats, and jogging in the parking lot. She is just not ready! Mostly I've just been trying to stay patient! It's thinning out! 

Next Doctor Appointment:

Monday, December 4th, 2017 
@ Fort Gordon Hospital


Best moment this week:

  • Ethan got out of the field early! He was supposed to be out there from Monday-Friday. However, because of our little trip to L&D Wednesday evening they just never made him come back out. They figured he'd just get called right back out. Well, we all know that didn't happen. His whole class was so pumped and excited for him. Everyone keeps asking him if he's a daddy yet and calling him papa or daddy. They all cheered for him when I called him home Wednesday night and they are even calling dibs who gets to hold the baby first. Yeah, that's probably not gonna happen. Sorry Strangers! haha
  • My parents fly out on Tuesday!!!!! :)