Thursday, December 6, 2018

A Letter to My Daughter on Her First Birthday



Dear Sweet Gracie Mae,

It's hard to accept that you are one already! Technically, you're not a baby anymore but to me, you'll always be my little girl. I remember the day I found out about you. I had always wanted to surprise your dad in some creative and elaborate way but when I randomly took the test, not really expecting a positive, I couldn't hold in my excitement when I saw that beautiful little plus sign. I grabbed your dad by the hand and led him out of bed to see it for himself. Of course, he already suspected it, reading the pure joy written all over my face. We fell asleep that night happy and in love, with each other, and with you!

My pregnancy was rough those first few months. Lots of nausea and puking in the bathroom at work. I welcomed it gladly though because it was a reminder that you were still there, growing healthy and strong inside of me. I still can't believe you were apart of me. I will always miss it, even feeling the hiccups you had daily!

I'll never forget the first day I met you. You changed my life forever. I will never be the same. It was a long and hard Delivery but meeting you at the end of it was completely worth it.  I'd do it a thousand times over just for you. You were so loved from the very beginning, by mom and dad and everyone.

Honestly, we've both grown over this past year. You learned and I learned. In many ways, you taught me more than I taught you. This past year you have been my biggest blessing and my constant worry. Between introducing solids, sleep training, and teething remedies,  I was always researching so I could provide the best for you. I tried not to be a helicopter parent, but I think I  may have fallen in that category at times.  As you learned, I learned.

  • As they laid you on my chest, you looked at me for the very first time and reached out to touch my face - I learned what unconditional love meant. I had never seen anyone more beautiful. 
  • You learned to nurse, only for a few months - I learned that breastfeeding wasn't right for the two of us and that it was okay. I learned to not judge myself and we learned to bond over bottle feeds. 
  • You learned to roll over - I learned to always have the camera ready.
  • You learned to laugh - I learned my new favorite sound and that somebody finally thought I was funny.
  • You learned to say dada, momma, and dog - I learned to not get my feelings hurt that you said dada first. 
  • You learned to crawl  - I learned to babyproof the house. 
  • You learned to pull yourself up to the coffee table and stand - I learned to hold my breath in anticipation for every time you fell. I also learned you'd always get back up. Nothing will stop you. 
  • You learned of your love for Kat - I learned to carry Zertec in the diaper bag.
  • You learned to wave at everyone, even strangers - I learned to be more friendly and kind.
  • You learned to say Ooh and Aww - I learned to more fully appreciate the little things in life.
  • You learned to walk (early) - I learned to pick you up and give loves each and every time you fell and got bruises which were inevitable. I learned to cheer you on and tell you that you can do anything! I also learned that from here on out you would never stop going!! 
We did it, baby girl! We survived our first year together. I look at you each morning and I can't believe you're mine. You are so beautiful, strong, brave, and curious. You pick up on things so quickly and you are so proud of yourself when you do. I hope you never stop. I can't believe you're my daughter. Thank you for choosing me to be your momma. Thank you for the lessons, the laughter and for changing me forever. I'll love your forever.

- "Momma loves Gracie Mae".

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